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Facebook Chat, Tuesday July 6, 2010

Shania: hey mom  10:05am

Me:  Hello, you have reached the automated answering chat of your mother. Please leave a message after the beep.

beep. 10:06am

Shania hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*beep*ooo …oh man i think it hung up on me!10:06am

Me:  LMAOROFL 10:07am

Shania: 😀

so what u doin

I kid you not.  This actually took place today.  Shania is 13-1/2.  Even as a baby with a binky in her mouth (beep beep as we called it, as it had the road runner on it), you could tell this kid had a warped sense of humor.  I love it!

Birthday Wishes from my 13 year old

!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!!!!
I HOPE U HAVE THE BESTEST BIRTHDAY
*I MEAN SINCE U R THE BESTEST MOMMY EVER!!*
AND THE GREATEST FOOD
*SINCE U DO MAKE TEH GREATEST CHILI EVER!*
AND THE FUNNIEST TIME WITH PEOPLE
*SINCE  U R TEH FUNNIEST PEOPLE*
AND THE LONGEST SLEEP EVER
*SINCE U DO SLEEP THE LONGEST LOL*
AND WELL…I JUST HOPE U HAVE A BIG SMILE ON UR FACE THEE WHOLE DAY
I LOVE U AND SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE AROUND U
I KNOW I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHEN I SAY
I LOVE U AND U ARE ONE OF THE GREATEST PEOPLE I KNOW

<(“)  LOL

Sometimes being Mom is not easy

Catie called.  I knew right away there was something wrong.  She was … quiet.  Then she started her story.  Jen had told her off, accused Catie of playing her and hung up on her.  That is the short version.  Catie is hurt because she feels that people don’t understand the stress she’s under right now.

Did I mention that Jen called shortly after I answered Catie’s call?  I didn’t answer at that time.

After spending an hour on the phone with Catie, I called Jen.  Jen proceeded to tell me “the truth” about what happened.  I agree that Catie should have kept Jen up to date on the delays.  I do not believe the sleight was on purpose.

That’s all I really want to say about that.  Ultimately, I tried to soften their feelings toward each other and told them to work it out between themselves.  I didn’t tell Jen what Catie said, though she asked.  I won’t tell Catie what Jen told me, not that she will ask.

I desperately want my children to love each other.  To respect each other and understand the others point of view.  I do believe that will happen.  It just won’t be soon.  That breaks my heart.  Sometimes, being Mom just isn’t easy.

01.08.10

Quiet Time

Have you ever had a day

when you had everything done that you needed to get done and could just sit and read, or be still, quiet, and contemplate the grass grow, if you so choose?  Me neither.  But that’s what I’m ready to do today.  I want to take a day off to just exist.

Christmas 2009

The Holidays were anything but peaceful with9-10 kids 13 and younger and about 14 people with the tummy blaaats.  Company in, family gatherings, house sharing, house hopping, new babies, rebonding with toddlers, last week hot weather, this week cold… I’m exhausted.  Now back at work, it’s not stopping because we have a new employee at work, one of my best friends.  Although this is wonderful, it’s still busy!  Next week should be just as exciting.

I was reading a blog about a type of photography and realized I received three books for Christmas and haven’t even looked to see if there are pictures!  I would love to sit and just read, knowing there were no distractions to be had.  Somehow, unless I skip sleeping, I don’t think my quiet time is going to happen any time soon.  Good thing I’m not particularly impatient!

This is KILLING me!

My BFF is in an interview that I set up and recommended her for at my job. I’m sitting outside the office, able to hear what is being said, and am answering a split second before she is the same answer. I SO want her to get the job!

btw, I am getting a job-based (sans pay increase) promotion! I’m going into Marketing and BD (Business Development). What a rush!

UPDATE:  She got the job!  Whoo hoo!

Depressed or is it just the weather front?

I don’t like telling my kids no.  I’d rather say yes and tease them by giving them grief.  I had to tell one no yesterday.  After that, I went downhill.  I couldn’t even sit up straight.  I went home.  I went to bed.  I couldn’t sleep.  I had no energy to do anything.  I took an extra blue pill.  Didn’t particularly do anything, but I’m not nearly as lethargic today as I was yesterday.  May need to take an extra one today.  We’ll see.

Wisdom Gleaned from a 3 year old

“My Name is Princess Evelyn”

My sister stopped by my office recently for lunch with her three youngest children in tow.  A coworker came by and I introduced them, but before I had a chance to introduce her, my niece states, “My name is Princess Evelyn! Pleased to meet you!”  Everyone grinned at the undeniable adorableness of this perky little blonde, blue eyed, three year old giving herself such a lofty title and having no hint of guile or conceit about her.

Upon reflection, it occurred to me that Evelyn was simply doing what I should do more of; know who I believe I am and not be afraid to show it.  Ok, so I’m no princess, but in the post-divorce-pre-empty-nest state in my life that I am in, I’m kind of finding me for the first time.  I used to be “Jackie’s daughter” or “the twins sister” or somebody’s wife or some kid’s mom or even “that chick from Finance” (or whatever department I was working at the time).  Since my second divorce  I have learned a great many things about myself:  I can manage my money wisely.  I am successful.  I am worthy of friends and I make good choices in those people I choose to be friends.  I am a good driver.  I am a good housekeeper.  I am a good mother.  I am intelligent. I am a beautiful woman (ok, so that one I’m still working on believing).

To some, those self-affirming statements may seem ridiculous.  Don’t we all already know that stuff about ourselves?  No, Virginia, not all of us do.  There are people in the world who will intentionally hold us back and make us believe that we are crazy, or stupid, or inept and there are others who, without meaning to, damage our self esteem.  A dear family member told me that I wasn’t what people would call “pretty” … I was “attractive.”  Dude!  I was like 12 at the time!  Don’t say that to a girl!  This doesn’t even take into account society and merchants who tell us that we are not good enough until we have the next bigger, better deal.  We say we don’t believe it, but we want that stuff anyway, don’t we?  Go on, admit it.  You want that iphone or that shiny car or that corner office… those are the status symbols of success.

Am I suffering a mid-life crisis at 44?  Nope.  My crises are over, done, kaput!  I’m kicking back and looking around, taking a breath and realizing what was right in front of me all along.  I’m a pretty doggone good catch as a friend, neighbor, mother, sister, and for some lucky man out there, wife.  I am a beautiful, fun-loving, ornery woman who deserves to be treated well.

“Hello, I’m Sanguine.  Pleased to meet you!”

Day after Christmas

family is fun in small doses.

far too much drama.  but i got to see most of my kids.  it’s all good.  I’ll add to this post later.

holiday hoopla

hooray for family!

It really is a good thing.  My eldest daughter will be visiting with her beau.  My son will be coming with financial assistance from my ex husband (not his father).  My mom is here, my sister and her 6 kids are here, my youngest is here.  I have a nice home.  I have a job and potential for a better one, I think.

I am simply in a bit of a financial crunch.  I’m due some back child support which has been paid, but not paid out.  If that comes, I’m fine.  But until then, it… dampens my enthusiasm.  I want to get so much for my family, but I cannot.  Yet.

I also, due to lack of healthy emotional coping mechanisms, overeat and have gained weight.  That with my age, which is not old, but my body is telling me the weight and the age together don’t merge well, makes me feel… old.

Nevertheless, I do enjoy the holidays.  Happy Chanukah, Jay.  Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it.

/e